Tigger Goes Wild
by Swimming Poole
Summary: What would happen if Tigger caved in to his tigerish instincts and went around eating everyone? Rated PG13 for some swearing and a few other things, but very funny! Please review.


"Tigger Goes Wild!"  
  
(Scene begins with Tigger looking at a book.)  
  
Tigger: Hmm, this book Christopher Robin gave me is stuperbly interesting! (finds something interesting) Hey, look at this!  
  
(What Tigger finds is a page about tigers.)  
  
Tigger(reading): Let's see.. "The ti-ger..." What the heck? They must've spelled tigger wrong! Oh well, it's their loss. Ok now: "The TIGGER is a carnivorous feline that tends to feed on smaller and weaker animals." Hmm, that's absurd! I'm a tigger and I have friends that ARE small and weak.  
  
(We see Piglet walk by wearing clothes that someone from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" would wear.)  
  
Piglet(all gay-like): Hiya Tigger, ya doll you. You'd never believe the day I had.  
  
(Tigger looks up at Piglet, he starts to see Piglet as a roast suckling pig.)  
  
Tigger(dazed): Mmm, roast...suckling...pig. (snaps out of it) No! No way, that is not like me.  
  
Piglet: What's the matter Tigger?  
  
Tigger: Oh, nothing. It's just...just...  
  
Piglet: What is it?  
  
Tigger(becoming crazy): It's....it's.... Ooohh WHAT THE HELL!  
  
(It appears that Tigger is caving in to what the book says as he devours Piglet in a manner of a pure beast. After Piglet is fully eaten, Tigger snaps out of it and recoils from what he has just done.)  
  
Tigger(embarrassed): Oh no, what have I done? I swear I will never do this ever again.  
  
(Then we see Rabbit walk by. He is carrying a bottle of pills.)  
  
Rabbit: Hello Tigger, would you mind opening these pills for me? My doctor says I should take 2 a day to relieve the stress I have.  
  
(Tigger begins to go food-crazy again, but tries to refrain himself.)  
  
Rabbit: Gee Tigger, you look like you need these pills as well.  
  
(Rabbit hands 2 pills to Tigger, who swipes them away instantly. Tigger then pounces on Rabbit, who is mutilated and gets his head bitten off. Suddenly, a voice is heard.)  
  
Voice: I need it man... I need it so badly...  
  
(It appears that the voice belongs to Pooh, who appears in a hooded sweatshirt and bloodshot eyes. He walks over to the now psychotic Tigger.)  
  
Pooh: Hey man, you got any of the "stuff"?  
  
(Psycho Tigger looks at him with an evil glare.)  
  
Psycho Tigger(slowly and evilly): Yeah... I've got the stuff. Let's walk into my office and get it.  
  
(Tigger leads Pooh into a cave, there we hear vicious roaring and screaming with a side of slashes and slurps. Tigger comes out with Pooh's sweatshirt on and blood all over his lips.)  
  
Psycho Tigger: Oh yeah, that was good stuff man.  
  
(Then Owl comes by.)  
  
Owl: Hello there Tigger, you don't look so well.  
  
Psycho Tigger: BALONEY! I'm just fine, ok?  
  
Owl: You know, what you said there reminded me of my great grandfather Arvie. Baloney always gave him gas whenever he ate it and...  
  
(Psycho Tigger then begins to chow down on Owl, who is still talking about great grandfather Arvie. Owl is still talking even after Tigger renders him to a skeleton.)  
  
Skeleton Owl: Well it was nice talking to you Tigger, I'll see you around.  
  
(Skeleton Owl walks off while Tigger just stares in disbelief.)  
  
Psycho Tigger: What the hell was that about?! Ah who cares!  
  
(Tigger proceeds to eat everyone in the Hundred Acre Wood. We see him eating Kanga & Roo, Kessie the bluebird, Gopher, and a bunch of Haffalumps and Woozles. After that, we see all of the Hundred Acre Wood in ruin, and a filthy Tigger all huddled up on the ground. It looks like he finally snapped out of his psycho state, yet sad as well.)  
  
Tigger: Why, why did I do this? I killed all my friends, and ATE them! It can't get any worse than this...  
  
(Suddenly, we see Christopher Robin walk over to Tigger.)  
  
Christopher Robin: Whoa, it looks like a bulldozer demolished this place. Hey Tigger, did you like that book I gave you?  
  
(Tigger springs happily after he sees that he has one friend left that he didn't eat and hugs him tightly.)  
  
Tigger(excited): Oh Christopher Robin, am I ever happy to see you, or any other living creature!  
  
(Tigger is so happy, that he doesn't realize that he had squeezed Christopher Robin's head off after he hugged him.)  
  
Tigger(upset): Oh god, nooooooooo! Oh well, might as well one last time.  
  
(Tigger then gulps down Christopher Robin's body and huddles back on the ground.)  
  
Tigger: Now where was I, oh yeah... I'm all alone now, I guess there's one last thing to do...  
  
(Tigger then bites on his tail and begins to eat himself. Then we see Eyore dressed up like a goth person. He sees Tigger in disbelief.)  
  
Eyore: Hmph, conformist shit.  
  
(The scene fades to black.)  
The End 


End file.
